On January 18th Ryan was admitted to the hospital with symptoms we could not control at home. I stayed next him in his hospital bed until he passed in the early hours of January 24th.
There will be a memorial held for Ryan on February 4th, 2012 at 2pm at the Ford Alumni Center, University of Oregon Campus. Everyone is welcome to join in honoring the most wonderful person I have ever known.
Bethany,
We are so sorry for your loss and so greatfull to have known you both. You are truely AMAZING! Prayers for healing, health and love heading your way.
Ryan will always remain in your heart and those he was close to throughout his short but meaningful life. While I only met Ryan briefly once in person when he returned from Europe I think I have known his Mother and Father for several years and have talked of him often. We will keep you all in our prayers but especially Ryan and Bethany.
God Bless,
Pat & Darlene Goss
Dear Bethany,
Although no words of sympathy can ease the loss you bear, still, may you find some comfort knowing others truly care.
I have not met you yet,but have heard about you from Carrie over the years and know that the whole family has always thought the world of you. You are a very special person Bethany and what you and Ryan shared was truly precious.
May God hold you close and gently ease your sorrow, heal your heart and strengthen you for every new tomorrow.
With love,
Dolly
What a great example of love, bravery and acceptance. Thank you for the challenge to grow.
Laura D.
Bethany,
I met you & Ryan several times when he was in the hospital. I am so sorry that Ryan is gone. He was such a fighter. And you were such a loving support.
My prayers are with you, & with all of Ryans family.
Patty
My heart goes out to you, Bethany. Know that Marlitt and I and our other widows sisters encircle you.
With love,
Jeanne
My heart goes out to you, Bethany. Know that Marlitt and I and our other widow sisters encircle you.
With love,
Jeanne
I was an Economics and Business major the same time you guys were in school. I graduated in 2010 and I am pretty sure I had a couple classes with Ryan and I remember seeing Bethany in the UO Bookstore. I am very sorry for your loss and I hope you are okay. I lost my dad just before I graduated in 2010 and I know how saddening it can be to have a loved one pass away. My thoughts go out to you and your families.
Casey Sullivan
What a sad, yet beautiful and moving love story. I don’t know either one of you but I cried through out the entire article I read online and again when viewing this site. What an amazing love to have shared and how torturous it must feel to have to let go. May you be blessed with an amazing life of happiness with Ryan as your guardian angel.
I sat in a quiet room and read all the articales, looked at all the pics while studying each one. The wedding was truly a celebration of life with Ryan and the sincere love that was shown in thier eyes.What an awesome family!
Bethany,
I am so sorry for your loss. I was very touch by your story. You are such a brave, wonderful woman. Your story reminds me of how short life can be and we should cherish every moment. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Ryan’s family
Bethanny,
What an incredibly moving story. I don’t know you personally but your story has brought tears to my eyes. The love that you and Ryan had for each other is such a beautiful thing. I will pray for you that you have peace.
Bethany, reading this has given me hope in finding true love..I admire your bravery and your love for your man..I pray Thanks God gives you peace and understanding in this difficult time. .However, you should be very proud to have had a life with such a So wonderful man..God bless your andpeaceur family and Ryan’s family..May he rest in peace
I now know there is true love out there..Reading this has gven me hope that someday someone will love me as you and Ryan loved each other.I pray for you Bethany, that God gives you peace and understanding.
Oh Bethany… my heart goes to you in so many ways.
My husband is by the oddest, funniest, strangest quirk the first man I met when I arrived on-campus at our undergrad alma mater. A year or so later he reappeared in my life when he asked a friend of mine out. They only went on a few dates, and our acquaintance slipped away again.
However, in April 1989, I was at the student union very late – almost 2 a.m. – and had every intention of heading home – as I always did – on my own. However, a person working at the information desk just wouldn’t let me go without someone with me. Over my vehement objections, Alex insisted, and he walked me to my bike. To the corner. Down the street. I found a $20 bill floating in the air. We laughed and snatched it from the breeze. Bought donuts and juice, and I welcomed him in to talk.
And talk. And talk. And laugh. And talk. And talk. Morning came, glorious morning… and we kept talking. The whole weekend. Laughing. Holding hands. That shy first kiss.
Monday, he walked into my office and asked me – no, *told* me :::laughing::: – that I had a date with him at his formal – at the end of the week – turned without another word and walked back out of the room, leaving me bobbling my mouth like a guppy. For once, someone had stunned me to a very, very happy silence. Once I could think again, I just sat there and laughed – a laugh I had never laughed before. A laugh that just bubbled out of me. That was 23 years ago…. today.
We married with great, deep, joy… so happy, so excited. And have been happy ever since – happy in our marriage and love. We are coming up on our 21st anniversary.
I have been incredibly ill, however. Five hospitalizations this year alone. One at the Cleveland Clinic with another planned for summer when he can take enough time off to be with me for weeks if need be (his work is of a nature that summers are relatively easy to juggle). Out of the past 5 years I have spent more than 8 months actually inpatient. I have partial esophageal paralysis. My bowel works only sporadically, and I have been unable to consume anything but liquids since the beginning of December. Five fractured vertebrae, with two discs impeding on the spinal canal. The litany is long. I am on a full-time pain patch with other pain medications for breakthrough, and take – at minimum – 22 medications a day to try and keep going. Some days I wonder how long this can go on. Some days I feel utterly defeated.
But I continue on, finishing my dissertation and planning for the future, because Alex has always been there, encouraging, loving, holding me up, staying by my side, smiling that lovely smile now wizened by crinkles in the corners of his eyes.
I want you to know that, whether it is one month or one lifetime – or even if they are one and the same – that the love you hold is the most valuable, wonderful, precious, rare gem of your lifetime. There is something about a love like ours – and the love you and Ryan celebrated every day – that cannot be put into words, cannot be contained, cannot be measured, cannot be described. It is overwhelmingly a part of you – you individually, and you, the couple. You breathe as one, move as one, think as one, yet remain vibrant and independent and full of life. Where does one life begin and another end?
While I am not Christian and have difficulty understanding the concept of heaven, my belief is that immortality is in the memories and stories and the ghost of the feel of your kiss lingering on that little, satisfying spot at the point of the cheekbone. But, even more, I think, immortality is in the ways in which you communicate the indescribable to those in your future – for them to hand down in their futures until time and space forgets humans entirely.
You are doing that, and there is no need for you to worry that you will ever forget anything of your love for each other. It is now part of you and it *is* you.
Live your life to the fullest and joyously. Invite more love into your life. Share that big, big heart of yours. And smile knowingly, each and every day.
Ryan would be so happy.
Love,
Laura
Bethany,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I used to live in Oregon when I was little so it is very near and dear to my heart. I must say that your story is extremely touching and I admire your strength, courage, and bravery. I am sure Ryan was a wonderful man. My heart goes out to you
Dear Bethany….You dont know me and I dont know u, other than thru this news report on u and ur late husband. But i wanted to let u know there is a connection that i felt as i read we have the same name. Then i looked more on ur story and saw that ur and ur husband signed ur wedding blog B and R. My name is Bethany and my husband’s name is Rico. Our emails are B and R or R and B. I always thinks its funny as these initials also match the genre of music R and B. Anyway, i want to let u know that ur courage uplifts me and ur life is a blessing to me as well. My husband and i are apart for 5 more weeks as we are in transition with moving. But to know how positive u were through the time u had with ur new husband and his sickness reminds how much more i can make it. Ur story is a blessing and I am thankful u put it out there so others can appreciate what they have while they have it. Be encouraged fellow Bethany that u have more before u and this Bethany is praying for comfort and peace for u. God Bless u and keep u.
Kindly, Bethany Moreno
Bethany, you dont know me and i dont know u but i saw ur story on the internet, u guys looked so happy together the love u guys feel for each other was so big that i could see it i your eyes. im so sorry for your loss i hope god gives u strengh to keep going and kust think that you wont see him just for a little, because someday you will see him again and it will be for ever… take care and if someday u wanna email me please do… God bless you.
Hi Bethany,
Just read your story on MSNBC. Truly beautiful and tragic at the same time. Thank you for sharing it with us and I wish you all the best.
From Malaysia.
Bethany,
This is so poignant yet what you’ve written says so much in so few words. The pictures truly captured the depth of emotion that special day and beyond. The occasion that you and Ryan planned together was filtered to its essence. Isn’t our uniqueness and imperfection as humans filtered by love into something greater together?
I wish you strength and guidance down this part of your path. I’ve heard grief doesn’t go away, it just changes shape. You cute little Boots will help you more than you know.
I normally wouldn’t have seen your story, but one day last week I was serving as nurse to my wife after a significant radiologic procedure requiring strict isolation from our pets and I for a few days. It was so strange being in the same house, but not being able to see her or be near her, so my reaction to your story on MSNBC and beyond was more intense than I’d imagined.
So, from some guy in Los Angeles, thank you guys for all your’ve shared… it’s timing and essence has touched me more than you’ll know.
Your story is very touching. I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray for you and Ryan.
the beauty in you and ryans story is one that touched me so deeply. to have so great a love and bond with another person is something we all hope for and you two were lucky enough to have found it. the time you had together was even greater because of the circumstances. what an incredible woman you are. some would have fled, choosing not to deal with it. but you held on. i admire you and the strength you have shown. ryan was so blessed to have you for that short, but wonderful time. may your light always shine.
I am so sorry for your loss…what a beautiful wedding! The love of my life was diagnosed at 35 yrs old with an aggressive unidentified cancer in May last year. Three months later I lost my husband after 15 yrs of marriage. We were high school sweethearts and I never imagined growing older without him, but like you, I would not trade a minute of our life together had I known what was ahead. The memories we have are my constant comfort and the reality that he still exists in eternity, in heaven…
I pray you will find healing and comfort this year as I have in my faith!
Hi Bethany,
I just saw you on the Today show. Your and Ryan’s story is touching and beautiful. I am wondering if you have spoken to anyone about telling your story through a film or a book? I am an independent producer and would love to chat with you when you get a moment.
Feel free to contact me anytime.
Warmest wishes,
Christina Lublin
Christinalublin@socal.com
(323) 397-7715
Bethany,
Thank you for sharing your touching story with everyone. Today is my wedding anniversary and I truly believe I was led here to be reminded of how blessed I am. My husband is just as wonderful as Ryan was and will continue to be in all your memories and always in your heart. My prayers go out to all the people Ryan touched and especially to you. You are a courageous and brave woman Mrs.Ryan Smith!
God Bless you all, stay strong Bethany. You will see one another someday, GODSPEED
May the Lord bless you and keep you,
May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you,
May the Lord show you his favor,
And give you his peace.
Praying for you. I’m thankful for the time you had together.
Dear Bethany, I am so sorry for your loss of the love of your life, Ryan. You two accomplished more in your short time together than most can accopmplish in a lifetime. You had so much love for each other and you enjoyed each other every second of every day, not wasting any time with nonsense of arguments or anger that the average marraige goes through. It’s all such a waste of time. All that truly matters is what you guys had, the love and enjoyed times together. What every couple wishes they could have. You will always have Ryan with you because the day you joined yourself in marraige is the day your hearts and souls became one.
Dear Bethany:
Happened to see you on the Today show and was so impressed by you and your families as you walked this path. Your dear husband was so fortunate to have all your love, kindness and strength!! I wish you and your families all good things in your next future. Sometimes we are destined to meet a “great love”
and you both did that in your young lives. Thank you for sharing such a “beautiful story”!! A hug from all of us strangers as one can never have enough support!!
Love to all of you!!
Your story is amazing. Your love for him is evident. I would do the same thing for my fiance. Inspired. Sorry for your loss.
Bethany, I have no words to express my sorrow of what you are going thru. May God hold you close and help ease your pain. Ryan will always be a part of you, and I believe you will be with him again one day. Your courage is truly amazing. I will keep you in my prayers as well as Ryan. Even though you had to say goodbye to Ryan, remember it’s only for a while.
Blessings,
Sue Gann
Ocala, Florida.
Bethany- You dont know me but your story has touched my heart very deeply. A love like what you had with Ryan is a once in a lifetime . Cherish every moment that you had with him as they will be with you for the rest of your life. May God be with you as you heal from this. And know that you will be reunited one day. He is watching over you! God Bless you and your family!
Words can not say how sorry I am for your loss! You are in my thoughts and prayers!
Sweet, precious girl, you are truly one of the blessed to have experienced such a love in your, so far, short life. I am married for the fourth time. The first three all ended in divorce, though all three of my former husbands have passed now, too. When my husband found me online, he had just lost his wife of 24+ years to a sudden brain hemorrhage. She was comatose when he found her and gone the next day. They met when they were thirteen years old, and they never turned back. When he kissed me the first time, I became the second girl he had EVER kissed…or even held hands with. He knew love immediately when he found it, much as it sounds like you and Ryan did. We’ve been married for nearly thirteen years now and when I asked him where he had been all my life, he simply replied, “I couldn’t come to you yet because God sent me to Marilyn first to walk with her throughout her journey in this life. The road to you wasn’t present before as I was on a different path which would not lead me away from her as long as she needed me.”
I believe that there are no accidents in this life. And I believe that God tasked you with loving and being there for Ryan for as long as he needed you to be…and what a wonder-filled task it was…definitely a task worth repeating. As you continue through your life, and God tasks you with someone or some thing new, remember that God-given tasks are gifts that allow us to learn and serve and grow. At times, those tasks can seem like never-ending drudgery, but there are ones that seem like breath to you….natural and comfortable and life-giving.;.and rewarding beyond words or understanding.
So, as you continue on your path, remember to take time to breathe…and reflect…and inspire again those of us whom you have already touched so indelibly on our hearts…as has your precious Ryan.
Thank you so much for allowing us to share your grief, your love, your rejoicing, your tears, and your heart. May God continue to richly bless you throughout your present and future journeys.
In His Love,
Venus
I just happened onto your story and read everything I could along with viewing the images and videos. I am 56 now and if I have learned ANYTHING in life…I know this:
Everyone was put here for a reason.
NOTHING is guaranteed, not even the next moment.
If you are lucky enough to find your reason for being here AND you can keep that plan
going you will have an AMAZING life.
It is obvious that the reason for Ryan and yourself was each other…God Blessed you so much. Most of us never really find what our purpose is in life, or we realize it a little too late. I believe that God’s plan for you is far from over Bethany.
I applaud your willingness to share your story with the world. Please keep on heading out every day and making a difference in those around you. And my fat kat Tom says Hi!
Bethany my prayer goes to you and your entire family, and i pray that Ryan”s soul rest in peace. you are truly an inspiration and your story has taught me to cherish every second i have with my loved ones. May God strenghten you
Good job
Oh, Bethany, I am so, so, sorry for your loss. The death of one so dear is a pain and torment like no other. I too lost the one I loved most in the world. Nonetheless, I am so very grateful and thankful to have known him, and for how he changed my life forever.
Now we wait, and wait, and wait — wait for death, or for the sorrow to pass, or for someone new who will make us feel just as wonderful and alive again.
Best wishes, Bethany, I feel your pain. And now I know your sadness, I will give you a hug and a smile when next I see you in the Duck Store, or around the campus…
– Sharon, junior at UO
I wanted to say that i’m so very sorry for all that you’ve been through. I can really really RELATE to A LOT of this story. In January my fiancee was diagnosed with stage four testicular cancer as well. We planned our wedding in two or three days with the stinging thought that he may not make it through. His cancer was in his lungs spleen and brain. Luckily my husband responded well and is on the path to recovery. I just really wanted you to know that i am SO SORRY that this happened but i KNOW you are just glad you had him in your life. I was so touched by your story because it REALLY hit close to home for me. Please know that i’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. GOD BLESS YOU
I admire how full of life and remarkably courageous you were on your wedding day. Your ability to hold back the tears and try your best to live in the moment with your new husband is so inspiring. You gave Ryan the most wonderful gift ever by allowing him to have a “normal” and joyous life during his final days. You should be very proud of yourself. I’m sure you know of this movie and maybe you’ve already seen it, but the classic film “Love Story” may be of solace to you in this difficult time. God bless you and please try to open up your heart so that you may love again in this lifetime. You’re a beautiful girl.
Bethany I saw your story by accident and I was truly moved. And the videos of Ryan’s Memorial and as sad as all of this is. You gave Ryan more time then he would have had if he would have had to do all of this alone. Godspeed Ryan and Godbless you Bethany.
Dear Bethany,
First and foremost, please accept my sincerest appologies on the loss of your best friend and husband. I happened to read your story on the Today Show, but I happen to live in Eugene. After reading your story, it makes me hug my family a little tighter and I cannot sleep thinking of you. Knowing how much you both love the Ducks, my heart will be with you tomorrow for the spring game. I will spend my day thinking of the two of you and your amazing love story. Please know how much your story has touched so many people and we all are thinking of you and praying for comfort in your time of need. With much care and concern, Lisa W
Dear Bethany-
John and I shared a little over 25 years together with our 4 children, first in CA and then in FL. For our anniversary, we had a family portrait made. John and I, our 2 sons and their families, and our 2 daughters. The day was filled with laughs and smiles, captured in a gallery of prints.
Shortly thereafter, John was diagnosed with lung cancer (stage 3B). He began chemotherapy and radiation treatments; then suffered a stroke. We endured 20 months of doctors, tests, treatments, medications, complications and hospitalizations. We faced all possible outcomes, good and bad, with honesty. We also lived the good days and always looked forward to the future. We never let that go. John passed away last October.
I knew he was the ONE from the moment I met him. We were friends first and forever. I think that’s why he was so easy to love.
I now look back on our life together and look forward on my life alone. While I would wish this time in my life on no other person, I do take comfort in your story. You know how I feel, how this hurts. I hope you can take comfort in my story. I know how you feel, how it hurts.
So cry because you need to… and laugh because you need to…
What a wonderful story you had with your husband for a short time on this earth you had a wonderful wedding and your lifes where blessed with so many good times as you keep that close to your heart !!!!:)
Bethany, I feel your Pain but also your happiness – I experienced a similar past – I am 64 years old and never found my lady till several years ago – we never got to the point of holding each other as an ocean seperated us – we tried to plan for our time together but her family was against us even tho they had never met me – God took her home a year ago March after her losing battle with colon cancer. I can only imagine what it would have felt like to hold her in my arms and look in her eyes. Life does go on and you have wonderful memories to carry you forward. Thanks for sharing yourself with all of us strangers.
Bethany-
I recently lost the love of my life a year and 3 months ago. It is the hardest thing in life to endure. But a love like this is one that will never be forgotten. But will only grow stronger every day. You are an amazing person and held on to Ryan, and gave him that strength and love to hold on to life longer. With all the love and support of those who love you and have known your story, you will get that strength which I know you have and put a smile on. You are lucky to have married the man you love. I did not have that opportunity of my love was taken to soon. But with our memories it keeps me a happy person.
God bless you
Hi Bethany,
Today I read your journey & am saddened by your loss. I met my hubby when I was 16. Short story were married & have 3 wonderful sons, 5 wonderful granddaughters, one each great grandkids. A little over 4 years ago my husband was dianosed with lung CA. Four years, with surgery & chemo he is still Ca free. Every day is a gift! Your story made me cry as I remembered how in love we were at 16 & still are at 62. After the health issue I treasure our time even more. It brings home how fast life flies. I am certain of one thing…God is in control and even though we don’t know why (someday we will), I am completely sure that my life was planned by Him & whatever happens it’s His way. Just thank Him for every minute you had with your special partner! Move forward because I know God has your plan. Praying for you & would love to hear from you in 10 years. By the way I have lived in Bend, Or for 36 years.! Thank you for sharing your life with us!
Bethany and the Schmidt and Smith families and friends,
I heard your story on Today, and have looked thru your story on line – it is truly touching and amazing … what a testament to true love – and such wisdom and maturity in you Bethany .. Thank you for sharing your story … and I hope that special memories provide some peace and comfort…..
sincerest sympathies …
Suzi
Bethany, you don’t know me, I saw your story on bossip.com.
I’m so sorry for your loss. You have proved to be such a strong and amazing woman. I’m sure you made Ryan a happy man by marrying him and loving him through that tough time in his life. He is now watching over you. May God bless you.
Bethany I don’t know you but this story touched my heart. I am sad by your lost but witnessing the love you have for your husband has opened my eyese to not take the days here on this earth for granted or people you love. Be encouraged and know that your husband is not in any pain and I am sure that he is watching over you. God bless you.
May you find peace and hope through your tears and hold onto the precious memories and happiness as you begin your journey of healing. BLESS YOUR COURAGEOUS HEART.Rest in peace to your beloved husband .
Dear Bethany, I am so sorry for your loss.Thank you for sharing your story with us! I am writing to you from Macedonia and you have to now that your beautiful heart gave me willing to live.I am sending you a warm hug and praying for you.
With Love Olja from Skopje
Dear Bethany~ I just read your and Ryan’s story in the Register Guard, then found your beautiful website. What a wonderful testament to an amazing love! It seems that you and your beloved husband shared, in a much too-short time, what some of us will search forever for; a true, deep connection, an unconditional love and the amazing ability to realize such in the midst of unspeakable sorrow. You and Ryan are truly inspirational, thank you for sharing your journey.
I wish you all the best in the future, Bethany, God Bless.
Karen
Dear Bethany,
I’m writing from across the globe, all the way from Singapore. I’ve came across your story just this morning and I’m truly sorry for your loss. The love between your husband and you inspired me, made me reflected on many things, and made me have a better understanding of “Faith, Hope, & Love”. I’m sure that your husband will find peace in Heaven, and for him, please do live on courageously and happily as you’re not alone.
May his love and the love from all other people give you strength. I’ll be praying for you.
Dear Bethany
On behalf of the testicular cancer community, we send our thoughts and prayers. There is still much to be done in fighting cancers in adolescents and young adult and we honor your and Ryan’s battle.
Dr Craig Nichols
Director Testicular Cancer Commons